I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
