how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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