I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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