is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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