No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
