pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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