Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going