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I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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