I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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