Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
