If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
