The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
