My brain says no but my pants say off.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
