I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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