I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
