This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
