No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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