Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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