i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
