So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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