I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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