at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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