my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
