if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize