something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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