I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
