I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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