Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
