I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
