P.S. I can't hear my feet
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
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He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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