Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
