is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
