Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
