I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize