when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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