Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
