I just threw up on my dentist
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
