i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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