OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
