my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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