Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
