How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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