We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
