ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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