I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
