I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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