Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
