For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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