morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
