Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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