Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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