I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
