Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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