he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
