I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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