id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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