woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
