it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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