my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
