guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm bleeding and have questions
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
