God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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