Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize