How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
