please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
