Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We need to get me chipped asap
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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