I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
