Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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