I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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