you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
