Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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