I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He? As in you personified your dick?