I like my sex mixed with concussions.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
