i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.