So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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