He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
